A GUEST POSTING:
Gerard Batten MEP caused outrage - a daily act by the party it seems - by demanding that British Muslims sign a commitment to abstain from violence and extremism.
The announcement caused revulsion across the European Parliament, but freshly elected Conservative leader in Brussels, Syed Kamall has replied with the debonair wit he is widely admired for.
Kamall wrote to the UKIP deputy:
I read with interest your intervention on the subject of Islam, seeking written pledges from Muslims that they will not commit acts of violence or indulge in terrorist rhetoric.
Do you have a form I can sign already? I am anxious to assure you that I have no intention of mounting any attacks on unsuspecting infidels, nor of attempting to radicalise you or anyone else.
If the forms aren't ready yet, perhaps you would take this note as my guarantee? My wife and family would be most reassured to know you will allow me to stay in Britain, especially since I was born here.
Please feel free to drop into my office to discuss this over a cup of tea. I promise you will be entirely safe.
Leader of the Conservatives in the European Parliament'